Audience Clapped Incorrectly, Speaker Confirms

Following a keynote address Wednesday, the speaker issued a statement clarifying that the audience's applause had been received with 'concern.' The rhythm, she said, was 'celebratory rather than reflective.'

She has requested that future audiences consult a forthcoming pamphlet on appropriate clap cadence, with separate sections for moments of acknowledgment, moments of healing, and moments where any applause at all is itself the problem.

Until the pamphlet is finalized, audiences are advised to remain still and emit a low, neutral hum.