Local Man Apologizes For Apology, Citing Insufficient Remorse
A four-page statement is reportedly being drafted to address the inadequacy of the original three pages.
Study Finds 100% of Opinions Now Require Context
Researchers warn that ungovernance of personal takes has reached crisis levels.
Breaking: Silence Reclassified As Loud
A new advisory board has determined that not speaking now constitutes a statement.
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All articles →Study Finds 100% of Opinions Now Require Context
Researchers warn that ungovernance of personal takes has reached crisis levels.
Coffee Shop Adds Trigger Warning To Menu After Customer Felt 'Pressured To Choose'
The warning, mounted in 48-point font, has itself prompted a second warning.
Breaking: Silence Reclassified As Loud
A new advisory board has determined that not speaking now constitutes a statement.
Local Man Cancels Himself Preemptively To 'Save Everyone The Trouble'
Sources confirm he has already begun the public-apology phase of a yet-unannounced misstep.
Audience Clapped Incorrectly, Speaker Confirms
The pattern of applause has been deemed 'tonally unaligned with the moment.'
Study Suggests Eye Contact May, In Fact, Be A Form Of Violence
Researchers urge the public to consider 'looking near, but not at, one another.'
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