Local Man Apologizes For Apology, Citing Insufficient Remorse
A four-page statement is reportedly being drafted to address the inadequacy of the original three pages.
A 34-year-old man identified only as 'a community member' has issued a second apology this week, this time for the perceived emotional shortcomings of his first apology, sources close to his Notes app confirmed.
The original statement, posted Tuesday, was reviewed by an unaffiliated panel of strangers, who described its remorse as 'present but not load-bearing.' The follow-up apology, scheduled for Friday, is expected to apologize for the apology, the rollout of the apology, and the implicit suggestion that any apology could ever be enough.
Local consultants have praised the move as 'a healthy modeling of accountability,' while privately confirming that no original offense has yet been identified by anyone, including the man himself.
'He understands that the absence of a known harm does not absolve him of harm,' said one bystander. 'And honestly, that's growth.'
At press time, a third apology was being workshopped to address the tone of this article.
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