Harm AnalysisMay 1, 2026 · 2 min
Compliment Flagged As Pressure, May Constitute Coercion
All positive feedback is now under mandatory review before delivery.
By Sensitivity Officer
Saying 'good job' has been formally identified as a possible form of soft coercion, on the basis that it implies expectation and creates an emotional contract.
Citizens are advised to replace compliments with non-evaluative observations such as 'a thing happened' or 'you exist.'
Praise, the panel noted, is a form of judgment, and judgment is a form of harm, and harm is, ultimately, a form of opinion.
This article is satire. All quoted people, panels, studies, and spokespersons are fictional. Resemblance to real events or individuals is incidental and parodic.
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