Breaking: Silence Reclassified As Loud
A new advisory board has determined that not speaking now constitutes a statement.
Effective immediately, silence has been formally reclassified as a form of loud and aggressive speech, according to a joint statement by the newly convened Council on Things You Have Not Said.
Under the new framework, citizens may be held accountable for any statement they failed to make, did not consider making, or were unaware of being expected to make.
A spokesperson clarified that the change is not retroactive, before adding that it is, in fact, retroactive, and that all previously unspoken sentences are now under review.
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