Community CorrectionsMay 11, 2026 · 2 min
Panel Recommends Banning The Letter 'I' For Being Too Self-Centered
A working group is drafting alternatives, including 'we,' 'one,' and 'collective vessel.'
By Standards Editor
An expert panel has formally recommended phasing out the letter 'I' from public discourse, citing its 'inherently individualist posture' and 'suggestion of a self.'
Replacement candidates include 'we,' 'one,' 'this body,' and a small line drawing of a candle.
Critics worried about implementation were swiftly informed that their concerns themselves used the banned letter twice, and were therefore void.
This article is satire. All quoted people, panels, studies, and spokespersons are fictional. Resemblance to real events or individuals is incidental and parodic.
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