Everyone Is Now Marginalized, Spokesperson Confirms
Officials say the inclusion is comprehensive and 'finally complete.'
After decades of careful expansion, the official list of marginalized groups now includes the entire population, sources confirmed Tuesday.
'No one is at the center anymore,' a spokesperson said. 'Which is, frankly, a triumph.'
Critics have noted that this raises the question of who, exactly, is doing the marginalizing. The spokesperson redirected the question to a forthcoming working group, which will itself be marginalized upon formation.
More like this
Breaking: Silence Reclassified As Loud
A new advisory board has determined that not speaking now constitutes a statement.
Local Man Cancels Himself Preemptively To 'Save Everyone The Trouble'
Sources confirm he has already begun the public-apology phase of a yet-unannounced misstep.
National Dictionary Replaced With Feelings Chart
All previously defined words have been retired pending emotional review.